I wrote this comic a week ago, when I was just starting MICU. Everything was very overwhelming- vent settings, new presentation styles, and frequent run-ins with mortality. I was exhausted after multiple back to back 12+ hour days (let me tell you, just having that one Friday off was CLEANSING.) My patients dying was affecting me emotionally and I didn’t have the time or space to engage in my usual kinds of self care, and so feelings just bottled up. Later in the week I ran into a couple of my co-interns and realized that I hadn’t had a face-to-face conversation with a human that wasn’t my boyfriend about something that wasn’t medicine in days, and that that in itself was affecting me negatively. I felt like my seniors- who were used to this- couldn’t really empathize anymore.
The last few days I’ve been able to breathe more, but I’m still struck by how strange our profession is. In the ICU more than anywhere else, I can see how medicine straddles the line between marvel and torture. I also see how we’re both cursed and privileged to be privy to some of the worst days of a person’s/ family’s life. Most people don’t spend their days terminally extubating patients and nights watching Brooklyn 99 like they didn’t just witness some trauma nah mean? Anyway I’m hanging in there. Hope you are too. #resident #icu #MICU #inpatient #doctor #relatable #uchicago #pritzker #womeninmedicine #graphicmedicine #premed #premedmotivation #professionalism #residency #internyear #internalmedicine #medschool #medicine #medicalschool #medlife